I do not know where to even begin. I write this with a heavy heart and its not easy to put my thoughts into words.
There have been many opinions on what occurred at Electric Zoo 2013, but mine is going to be much more personal.
What I have come to love with all of my heart over the last 2 years…
I had to take a pic of my baby before I sent her away. If only you could see just how beat up she was, you’d understand why she finally died.
I’m in love right now. I restarted my pump yesterday after taking a 4 month break. And I must say that with my CGS (continuous glucose sensor) on also, my numbers have been amazing. Before I went back on shots my Basel rate was retarded. And my numbers were perfect in the morning but after that, gone, horrible. Now that I’m back on my pump after this little break, I haven’t had a reading above 230 in the last 24 hours. Now to tweak those few peaks I have had. Diabetes management, I will control you.
Lol word this is me every time #diabeticlife #diabetes #diabetic #diabeticproblems
Everyone things I’m crazy for this. 12 years later, I just don’t care
|—||Unknown (via perfect)|
23 years and I now find myself, lying in bed, alone, pondering how I made such a big mistake that I have pretty well lost everything. This is why I smoke and don’t drink. Here’s the story. I rarely drink alcohol seeing as I have type one diabetes. Besides that, drunk Ling turns into a whole other person. The one night I decide to partake in a few drinks, I get pulled over for speeding which then led to my arrest for being honest with the officer about having a few drinks. Anyway, spent a few hours in jail, was bailed out by my mom’s amazing boyfriend. Car; impounded, license; punched. And to top this whole mess I’m in off I’ve now been fired from my dream job. I have faith, everything happens for a reason, blah blah blah, bull shit, okay, why do bad, shitty, horrible things happen to good, honest ,hard working people?! I have royally fucked myself. All I wanna do is smoke. And that’s impossible because I have a court mandated alcohol evaluation. I sit here wondering where I actually went wrong, aside from making the decision to drive after a few drinks. I keep having these flash backs of the whole night and everything that happened. Here’s the best part, I have not once, ever had any run-in’s with the law before, my record, it’s spotless. But I lost my job for a DUI that I haven’t even been convicted of. I know there is some reason for this all but the way things have been going for me the last year and a half, yea, it would drive anyone to want to drink now. It’s like this viscous cycle that’s never ending. I try so hard to do the right thing. And it never fails to slap me in the face some way or another. I just want to smoke. That’s all. You can have your alcohol, it causes people to make poor decisions and take unnecessary risks. Smoking, doesn’t. I have profound thoughts after smoking. It seems as though my true vice has been compromised though. Where will I go from here? What do I even do? I just shake my head in shame, this whole mess has destroyed my current life. And yet I still lay here wondering where I went wrong, knowing I can’t change the past. I’m so numb.